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致命的大錯(cuò)

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"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."?

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"Qualifications: No education or experience."?

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"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."?

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"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."?

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"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."?

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"Fired because I fought for lower pay."?

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"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .?

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"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."?

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"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."?

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"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."?

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打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤?

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"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."?

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"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."?

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"I am a rabid typist."?

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"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."?

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"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."?

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"Accounting cleric."?

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"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."?

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"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."?

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"Suspected to graduate early next year."?

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"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."?

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"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."?

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"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."?

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"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."?

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"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."?

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不應(yīng)有的幽默?

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"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."?

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"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)?

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"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."?

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"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."?

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"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company i