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致命的大錯(cuò)

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　　"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

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　　"Qualifications: No education or experience."

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　　"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

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　　"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

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　　"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

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　　"Fired because I fought for lower pay."

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　　"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65" .

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　　"Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date."

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　　"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

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　　"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately."

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　　打字錯(cuò)誤與語法錯(cuò)誤

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　　"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

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　　"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

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　　"I am a rabid typist."

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　　"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981."

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　　"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."

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　　"Accounting cleric."

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　　"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

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　　"Suspected to graduate earlynce analyzing investments."

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　　"Suspected to graduate early next year."

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　　"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

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　　"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

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　　"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

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　　"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

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　　"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

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　　不應(yīng)有的幽默

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　　"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

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　　"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

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　　"But wait...theres more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

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　　"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

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　　"My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company i